Quick answer: Use who when it is doing the action (like he or she). Use whom when the action is done to it (like him or her).
The he/him test
Answer the question or rephrase the clause with he or him. If he fits, use who. If him fits, use whom. Both whom and him end in M.
- “Who called?” → He called. Use who.
- “To whom should I send it?” → Send it to him. Use whom.
- “The man who lives next door” → He lives next door. Use who.
Examples
| Incorrect | Correct |
|---|---|
| Whom is coming tonight? | Who is coming tonight? |
| To who it may concern | To whom it may concern |
| The person who I met | The person whom I met (formal) |
Is whom dying out?
In everyday speech, many people use “who” everywhere, and that is widely accepted in casual writing. In formal writing, especially after a preposition (to whom, for whom, with whom), “whom” is still expected.
Related guides
- A lot or alot?Which spelling is correct
- Their, there or they’re?Three words, three meanings
- Your or you’re?Possession vs you are
- Its or it’s?The apostrophe rule
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Frequently asked questions
Is it “to who” or “to whom”?
“To whom”, because it follows a preposition.
Can I always use “who”?
In casual writing, yes. In formal writing, use “whom” for objects.
What about “whose”?
“Whose” shows possession (whose bag is this?), while “who’s” means “who is”.